Thursday, 8 March 2012

Wharton invites Yo Yo Honey Singh at India Economic Forum

Authorities said that Honey Singh may be invited to deliver the convocation speech too if the response is good.

After the recent controversy in which Mr Narendra Modi was rejected as a panelist at the Wharton India Economic Forum which is to be held on 23rd March there has been a slight change and all the members of the organizing committee after due consultations and approvals have decided to invite Yo Yo Honey Singh for it.

Our reporter had a word with Yo Yo Honey Singh-

Reporter- Yo Yo how does it feel to be invited for such a prestigious event?

Honey Singh - Dude atleast say my name properly .It is Yo Yo Haniiiiiiii Singhhhhhhhhh.Now don’t tell me that u don’t know how to pronounce it. My name represents 80% of every song’s lyrics. Godammit!

Reporter- Fine Yo Yo Haniiiiiiii Singhhhhhhhhh tell us how does it feel like to be called for this event?
Honey Singh- Oh ji it feels great to be called for an event like this. Nowadays I am busy watching Modi’s videos on YouTube.They told me that I have to act like a pseudo intellectual.So I am trying my level best to become one.

We also tried to get Mr Narendra Modi’s views on the matter. 

Reporter-Sir you must be aware that after rejecting you Wharton has called Yo Yo Honey Singh for a speech. How does it feel?

Modi- It is very shocking indeed that after doing so much development in Gujarat they choose to call  Yo Yo Honey Singh and not me. 

Reporter - Sir this shocking move by Wharton is seen in political arenas as a #Blow to Modi.

Modi- “For god sake can you stop repeating that term.Got sick of hearing  it. Went to my pan vala yesterday night & was short by 10 Rs so I told him that I will pay him the next day as I am a loyal customer of his since the past 20 years.And to my shock even that son of a gun shouted ‘Blow to Modi’

Reporter- Sir what are your plans ahead??

Modi- “Well I have my eyes set on the ‘Lovely Professional University Punjab–Canada dairy conclave’

Reporter- What?? Dairy conclave?? WTF is this?

Modi- Well we shall be discussing about new developments in the field of dairy farming and also rework on the marketing strategies for Lassi.Planning to give it weird Italian names like Lassichino ,Lassi Latte etc and  sell it off at rip off rates in international markets. This strategy always works to fool consumers.Trust me !!

Renowned author Salman Rushdie condemned the Wharton School of Business for taking such an action.

Reporter- Sir so u support Modi ji right?

Salman Rushdie- What the hell is this? Modi can't take away all the publicty. Lemme make this crystal clear ONLY I have the rights to be invited and rejected at pseudo intellectual meetings concerning India like the Jaipur Literature Festival. Wharton should have atleast had the courtesy to invite & decline the invitation to me. I would have never felt bad about it.

When asked Arnab Goswami of Times Now his worldly wise views on the matter he had this to say-

Arnab- I don’t get it.Why did they have to invite Yo Yo Honey Singh out of all people considering the useless and morally degraded songs he has made.

Reporter- But sir I saw you dancing to ‘Angreji Beat Te’ song by him at the Times Now party last week.

Arnab- Your channel Times Now investigated and based upon conclusive evidence we have found that the song was ‘Brown Rang’ not ‘Angreji Beat Te’ by Yo Yo Honey Singh.Get your facts right dude. Please note RIGHT now we have already started broadcasting my dance performance evidence as a “Times Now 
Exclusive- Arnab Goswami beats Hrithik Roshan in dance yet again” 
The question we should be asking ourselves as citizens of a democratic nation is WHY do fellow singers like  Himesh Reshammiya ,Altaf Raja(of ‘Tum To There Pardesi,Saath kya Nibhaooge’ global fame) feel discriminated against and the whole nation seems to have boycotted their songs completely like they had boycotted foreign goods during Swadeshi movement pre Independence era.

Reporter (in Roadies Rannvijay Singh style)- I AM STUNNED !!

*runs away*

We also spoke to head of Wharton India Economic forum
‘So out of all homo sapiens  in a country as large as ours you zeroed in on Honey Singh out of all people?
Forum head-“ This was a very logical choice if you ask me. We wanted to keep an entertainment show too for the event as by past experience we know that people get dead bored at such conferences and start staring at ceiling corners of the hall and their watches for entertaining themselves. Some audience members have even been seen discussing Temple Run scores with each other enthusiastically.  So instead of inviting a singer and a speaker we opted for a combo deal- Honey Singh.Seems legit!”

Disclaimer- This above article is a work of pure fiction and is meant to be taken in good humour.

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