Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Khap panchayat declares a ban on Justin Bieber songs

"Justin tujhe toh dekh lenge!!  Ek baar Haryana toh aa Incredible India ki ser karvayenge tujhe" -Khap Panchayat

Khap Panchayat recently declared a ban on Justin Bieber songs leaving thousands of his fans (aka Biliebers to sound cool) shocked across the nation.

The Khap Panchayat head had this to say- 
"We were receiving many complaints regarding Justin Bieber's songs since the past few days. The other day we all were kinda bored as there was no other hot issue in the nation left over which we hadn't given our worldly wise views over so one of our members suggested that we play some Justin Bieber track to chill. We had to shut down the music system within 5 mins itself coz the lyrics were just too vulgar and derogatory in nature. I don't understand what is the need for singing lyrics like 'Babyyy Babyy Babyy OOOuuuuuuu' . Freedom of expression does not mean that you can get away with any bullshit. Therefore we urge the government to ban his songs before our culture gets destroyed"

Justin Bieber said -
 "I would like to humbly apologize to all my fans in India in case I have hurt their sentiments by mistake. Till date I was always under the belief that my songs were a refreshing change for a nation accustomed to Himesh Reshammiya's tracks.But I was so wrong.I would like to say sorry to Khap Panchayat too. Would love to have a hookah session with them to clear the 'air between us' both literally and figuratively."

Yo Yo Honey Singh responded -

" This serves him right.Now that both his and my songs are banned across India, it's high time we both collaborate and produce some new tunes together. I have always believed in the philosophy that 'pervert minds think alike'.And to be honest I am still a lil clueless as to why my songs are criticized for their lyrics considering that 80% of my lyrics in every song is simply me shouting Yooo Yoooo Hannnii  Siiingh"

Minister for Information and Broadcasting responded -
"I totally support the Khap Panchayat's view on this matter. That particular track of Justin is extremely perverted and deserves a ban indeed. We have already issued a legal notice to him and shall take all steps to uphold the cultural values of our nation. "

But ma'am don't you think that this will spoil Indo Canada relations considering that Justin hails from Canada??

"(laughs) Oh no no not at all. It will not have any adverse effect on Indo Punjab relations"

But ma'am I said Indo Canada relations not Indo Punjab...

"Same thing re. Call it Punjab or Canada.How does it make any difference.? Canadians are a minority out there anyways. Sardars have outnumbered them a long time back. Hadipppaaa.Oye Balle Balle"

Needless to say our reporter fled away after seeing the minister break into an impromptu Bhangra.

Meanwhile a female Justin Bieber fan on a condition of anonymity said-         
"K I get it Chikni Chameli,Munni badnaam hui etc songs are fine but that Baby Baby song of his is apparently considered extremely vulgar in our society.My love for Justin will remain till my dad do us apart, oh sorry I meant till death do us apart! "

DISCLAIMER- The above article is a work of pure fiction and is meant to be taken in good humour. However in case any of your sentiments were hurt kindly keep your lathis & hockey sticks to yourself because the author is a black belt in karate (in an alternate universe of course).
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