So
the year 2017 is finally here. Statistically speaking it's just matter of time
before fellow mortals start predicting about the end of Earth this year on
Nostradamus' behalf. There is something very magical about reminiscing your
screw ups of the year that went by and speculating your future ones parallely.
Like
most people even I am quite curious about the year ahead and some rather deep
questions do plague my mind like-
Is Putin going to tear apart a lion's jaws with his bare hands on national television?
Will
PM Modi waltz with Donald Trump to easen out H-1B visa regulations for Indian
techies?
For
once will Queen Elizabeth's public appearance not make media headlines like it
was Jesus' second coming or something.
January
is also the month of great introspection indeed where people make resolutions
which is a universally accepted way to fool your mind. I
It's only a matter of time before it becomes a
contest between whose resolution is more ambitious. Now ambition I believe is a
good thing, especially when you are trying to defy the centre of gravity while
loading up your salad plate at Pizza Hut.
With
the new year comes new aspirations, be it career or personal. Recently I
happened to come across a video of a girl who shot to fame for smashing her
face into different types of breads with utmost dedication and has garnered
millions of viewers across the globe. I would not be surprised if she bags an
endorsement deal by Subway soon to further promote their empire built on
providing junk food for cows. Quite a niche target audience indeed by all
counts. This video almost put me into an existential crises. Why work in 8 hour
shifts when you can make a killing by simply smashing your face into food.
Like
every new year, I love checking out my annual horoscope. Over the years I have
developed the wisdom to always check out my horoscope from a minimum of 10
websites and carefully cherry pick the most favourable points in each to form
an opinion. The world is a cruel place indeed and god forbid if you happen to
have a chinese zodiac sign of a goat. So I get directed to articles revolving
around goats with titles such as (in increasing order of embarrassment)-
-Goat's
love prospects for 2017.
-Things
that should be avoided by goats.
(Fun fact-Contrary to public perception, it's not Eid, but rather a collection of unlucky dates, colours etc.)
(Fun fact-Contrary to public perception, it's not Eid, but rather a collection of unlucky dates, colours etc.)
-What
type of goat are you?
Here's
hoping the year ahead turns out well for you. Unless of course you are off to
carve a career path for yourself by smashing your face into assorted well
buttered parathas, in which case you have just found your new competitor. Good
Luck. May the best man win.
